I pimped out my ride 

What’s the most pimpin’ feature? 

It sells girls for sex 

I really love math 

My love for math is intense 

It’s not platonic 

Live in Michigan 

Our economy was shit 

Before it was cool

Grandparents hate gays 

Their parents hate black people 

So fuck Medicare 

Milk makes harder bones 

And since there is milk in boobs 

Boobs harden things too 

Calm down atheist 

I know religion is dumb 

But you’re an ass-hole

Hitler’s skewed logic 

“Those people make false pancakes 

I need to bake them

Grow a square mustache 

But only if you’re evil 

Or do old slapstick 

The next line is false 

The previous line was true 

Your mind is now blown

I scream and you scream 

And we all scream for ice cream 

Which is why we’re fat

Television laws 

Blood and gore are both okay 

Nipples are Satan 

Take more photographs 

So you can capture moments

Moments you posed for

I go camping some 

One time a bear attacked me 

I camp in gay bars 

I have Asperger’s 

It’s a spectrum disorder 

Autistic rainbow 

What’s a pessimist? 

It’s a literary term 

For someone who’s right

The wind talks to me 

It tells me wise, guiding words 

“Wear a coat, dumb-ass” 

It’s Saint Patrick’s Day 

We celebrate Catholics 

By getting shit-faced 

What is the answer? 

Answers are inquired statements 

So yes, that’s herpes

Monkeys chase weasels 

They chase them around bushes 

Then weasels explode 

Cheer up Catholics 

When Jesus died for your sins 

He came back later 

A spoiler alert 

Your spoiler fell off your car 

Be alert of it